The Miscommunication Trope - in Literature & in Life

“If they had just talked to each other for five minutes, it would have save us the last 50 pages of the book!”

This is a direct quote from a recent book club discussion, which began a more in-depth conversation around the commonly used “miscommunication trope” in literature. You know the one, where two characters have a seemingly small miscommunication, which then goes unaddressed and blows up into a much larger issue than is necessary.

Geeze, if only they’d talk to each other, this could all be cleared up!

What gets in the way of these characters having the conversation right away?

• Perhaps the relationship is new, and so they aren’t sure how the other person will react?

• Is there a power imbalance?

• Had one of the characters been in a situation in the past where speaking the truth in a timely manner went horribly wrong or was not received well?

This trope is used so often because it is reflective of human behavior. Where have you seen this in your organization? When did an issue go unaddressed, festered and became much larger than it needed to be? What could have been done to allow for more timely and direct communication?

It often comes down to psychological safety and/or the ability to admit when one has made a mistake. Can they speak truth to power and trust that they’ll be listened to instead of punished? How are failures perceived and responded to? Are they seen as learning opportunities, or are they condemned? How are new people integrated into the team? Is there a clear culture of open and honest communication (displayed in both action and words) or are they left guessing at how a difficult message may be received?

Communication begets communication, just as miscommunication begets miscommunication.

How might you establish in word and in practice, that it’s okay (and expected) to speak one’s mind with respect and humility? Where might you show and tell, that mistakes happen, and it’s okay (and… again… expected). Where are folks left guessing and how might you fill in the blanks?

Where might you over-communicate (in word and action) to lessen miscommunication?

If you are looking for some direction and practical tips on creating psychological safety, and modeling open, honest and direct communication, please grab a copy of my book, Approaching Improv - Communication & Connection in Business and Beyond.